tried purging for the 1st time..

April 29th, 2008

So i ate a lot more than usual today, but i thought i’d be ok because i planned on doing double the amount of cardio i usually do.. Up till this point i wasn’t even sure if i had an eating disorder at all, i thought i was just concerned a little with weight but now i think differently.. i couldn’t do almost any cardio because it’s way too cold tonight and i freaked out and tried to make myself throw up for the 1st time. I couldn’t do it though. i almost did and i thought i was about to but nothing except some saliva came out. Now I just feel fat and Im really gonna try to not eat for a good two days.. I don’t know if Ill be able to but I’m gonna try as hard as I can. If I weigh myself tomorrow and see that I’ved gained any weight I don’t know what ill do =[

again, if you ever want to, email me. it’d make my day

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showprofile.php?Cat=&User=50154&Number=827657&Board=eating&what=showflat&page=&view=&sb=5&o=&fpart=1&vc=1

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